Maternity Monday: In the Age of Facebook when do you tell everyone you’re pregnant?

Guess what? There’s a new baby due in January in the Beccarama family – and it’s not mine (phew)!  My sister is pregnant, and I am thrilled for her – so thrilled in fact that my first thought was, “you have to write about it!” (well, at first I said, “Mazel Tov” I’m not a total social media nut job)  So, every Monday my sister will be guest posting and writing about her pregnancy, great prenatal products, and getting ready for baby in a one-bedroom Brooklyn apartment!   Here is her first post of many to come…

After having my 13 week sonogram today which included the surprisingly uncomfortable Nuchal translucency screening, I finally got around to telling my extended family the great news-  that my husband and I are expecting our first baby on 1-12-13 (which just so happens to be a Brooklyn zip code).  After sending an email to some of my younger cousins, my first thought was, oh no, what if they now post something on facebook congratulating me before I have outed my pregnancy to my 600 or so “extended” friends and virtual acquaintances.  I have been grappling with this whole tell/don’t tell conundrum since the day I read the word “pregnant” on that awesome stick.  And everyone seems to have their own very strong opinion about this issue.

I started telling people right when I first missed my period in April. When it comes to keeping secrets, I am a vault for others, but a complete open book with my own.  A running joke in my family is that whenever we gave my dad a present for a holiday I would yell “it’s not a tie” right before he opened it to reveal that yes, of course, it was another tie. So, I knew, I was going to tell everyone who I love, which extended into many friends who I would have told anyway if something bad were to happen.  Two of these friends upon hearing the great news, responded with “don’t tell anyone!” Well, it was too late, wasn’t it?  Not the response I was hoping for. The responses we loved were the ones such as by my very close friend who just bolted into hysterical tears while hugging us or my very charismatic friend  who sadly lives 3000 miles away and screamed on the phone while walking down the street telling me she’s having a heart attack since she was so beyond happy. It was in those moments that I felt overjoyed to share my joy with people we love. It made it all feel so much more real, and I also firmly believed that the more people we told the more positive energy was being sent to my womb.

But, I also get the don’t tell anyone point of view. One of my friends was outed on facebook when another friend wrote “ I am so happy for you and the baby!”  She was able to take the comment down before the string of comments began from people she hardly know. This friend also ended up miscarrying at 12 weeks, so I understand her outcry to me not to tell ANYONE.  I still don’t believe in the silly superstition that by telling people you may increase your chance of losing the baby, but I do believe that by making all of these people in your life overjoyed with the good news, you may also one day have to sadden them with bad news, and that would most likely exacerbate your own sadness.

The way we looked at, we were going to tell the same people the good news that we would tell the bad news as well.  But, in the end,  I am very happy with my decision to blab to those I love.  And now that I passed that 3 month mark I can allow the real blabbing to begin, if I can only figure out the best way to announce it on Facebook – before someone else does it for me!

2 replies on “Maternity Monday: In the Age of Facebook when do you tell everyone you’re pregnant?”

  1. Congratulations Jesse! I know a couple of baby sitters that cannot wait for their new cousin’s arrival!

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